Whilst perusing my baby photo database, one thing quickly became apparent, there was a plethora of completely OTT (over the top for those not down with the lingo) pictures of Thing 1 begging for a blog to be dedicated to. So without further adieu, I present a shocking amount of big ass bows, overly themed Holiday ensembles and me pretty much just cracking the hell out on dressing up my little babe for any and every occasion.
I can honestly think of no better reason to bust out the very biggest of the big ass bows than for my infants 1 month birthday. She was pissed as all hell I put the boobs away and forced her into this photoshoot. To be fair, I'm pretty sure I can accredit her neck strength early on to those big 'ol bastards. My Husband used to just shake his head and walk away as I subjected our child to the onslaught of incredibly huge bows. I had nothing to do but feed and dress my baby all day, and I took that task pretty damn seriously. So my kid pouted, slouched and rocked the hell out of her bows. The bigger the bow the closer to God y'all.
The pictures of the BAB's (big ass bows) are endless. I should shoutout Vintage Whimsy Designs for making Thing 1 an accessories whore. (not sure if whore is the best verbiage when talking about a baby, but junkie isn't much better) Every single one of her pieces are hand and uniquely made with all vintage sourced materials. If you want some precious BAB's for your babe, hit her up on Etsy!
An OTT Mom isn't born overnight. No. I was made for it. For as long as I can remember, any time there was an opportunity to dress up, I seized the shit out of it. I'm not one for subtlety. Nor appropriateness. Halloween was my absolute favourite time to pull out all the stops, and something like this is usually what happened when I did.
Meet Krystal Chandelier. My 70's porn star alter ego. What I lacked in BAB's, I made up for in pubes and a killer 'do. Seeing this I bet you all are pretttttty relieved my OTT'ness with Thing 1 took the form of cute hair accessories and not a big 'ol baby bush?!
There have been times that ginormous headwear, in hind site, were maybe a schmear too much. Take my sisters wedding. We flew 5,000 miles to be there for the big day. To make memories and capture the priceless moments of my newborn celebrating her Aunties nuptials. Well. Due to her going absolutely mental, we missed most of the photo opportunities. The literal, single, solitary one that we managed to capture looked something like this.
Can you spot anything a bit...off about this picture perfect family portrait???
Yeah. MY KID HAS A GIANT ASS BOW FOR A FACE!
I should specify that this particular bow was like the creme de la creme of bows. I had been hoarding it for this very occasion. I just should have f bombing put it on the other side of her sweet 'lil baby face. Live and learn.
After that epic faux pas, I vowed to make up for it. Create a Kodak moment that would blow future Thing 1's socks off when she gazed upon the unforgettable spectacle that was her very first Halloween costume. If I nailed this, the bow face incident of 2015 would be long forgotten. I will hold my hands up and admit I went SO OTT with this I went over, over, over, above to infinity and beyond the top. Spent time that I didn't have between caring for a colic'y, sleepless baby, to make this. The thing I'm most proud of making. (since my bb, obvs) The very costume that won us 1st place at the illustrious baby goes clubbing Halloween party.
I present, Baby Ariel.
That's right. I bought an undersea background, strictly for the purpose of posing my pissed off mermaid on it. Believe it or not, this was actually as close to a happy face I could get out of her. What baby doesn't just love lying on cold plastic in full mermaid regalia?!
I admit it. Hold my hands up. I actually took the time to glue individual pieces of yarn together to make a wig for a 4 month old. I themed the hell out and was the ocean to her Ariel. The waves on my arse made that a fitting costume choice. Thing 1's interest in this whole endeavour disappeared faster than a fart in a fan, but I was SO into it. My enthusiasm was enough for the both of us. Halloween is way less of a big deal here in England than it is in The States. Plus. Combined with me going way overboard, we stuck out like a sore thumb in a room full of watered down costumes. I totally felt like an a-hole rocking up in there in a couple costume with a catatonic Ariel.
But my inner OTT personality dgaf'd. She looked so ridiculously adorable it took all my self control not to just gobble her little face off. This was the Mom version of all the years worth of ridiculous costumes, and I didn't even have to get my pubes out for this one. Plus. Looking back almost 2 years later; now that I have a tyrannical toddler that won't even permit a pair of socks without intense negotiation, I'm so glad I stuffed my infant into a fish tail and wig before she could raise holy hell about what I was subjecting her to.
That first year with my baby seems to have gone by in a blur, but in the thick of it seemed an endless, sleepless time period. I am so grateful that for that quick blink of my daughters life, I have all of these (albeit a bit much) pictures to signify a passage of time I'll never have back. To have a new baby and nothing but time to make a big deal about every single occasion. Not for her but for me. Those colic filled nights are no more. Her gummy smile and or pissed off face when I snapped on yet another bow is filled with teeth and the independence to whip it off. She is now a blur running around discovering the world around her and getting a semi decent picture is a far cry from the days when I had her lying there for picture after picture. And no. I'm not crying right now...errr there's something in my eye.
There wasn't a marked occasion that I missed. The big Holidays, celebrating her Monthdays, and even freakin' Cinco de Mayo were all met with much fanfare and pictures in our house.
If you're wondering, even though my muse refuses the BAB, if I'm still an OTT Mom. Well. You bet your sweet ass I am. A leopard doesn't change it's stripes. Or spots? What the heck does a leopard have anyways? The older she gets I just have to get more creative with how I sneak in my penchant for dressing up. A harmless gathering of all of my friends and their kids when we were visiting across the pond, quickly turned into a full fledged princess party. Any excuse to get my daughter into a tutu and squeeze my own ass into a sequin ball gown and crown, I'll take! This Halloween she refused to be encumbered by a tail (the cheek!) so I made her the Harriet Potter to my tired, unshowered, oafish counterpart, Haggard. She got to run a riot whilst unbeknownst to her, partook in another sweet lil couples costume with me. Mom(ish) - 1 and Thing 1 - well......672,194. But I'll happily take that small victory and look for ways to sneak my OTT tendencies onto my kid in years to come!
